Film Photography

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I’ve been having a good, hard think lately. Thinking about why I spend so much time online and what the heck am I actually trying to achieve with things like this blog.

Me: Do you want to make your fortune selling photos from your shop?

Me: Hmm, a fortune does sound nice but it’s not what really drives me to do stuff. I love the recognition and the thought that someone has chosen to spend money on something I’ve created and even has it hanging in their home. That’s MUCH more motivating. Not the ‘fortune’.

Me: Do you want to be a freelance website designer (it is your day job after all)?

No. No, no, no. So many reasons for this answer but I’ve become quite disillusioned with it all. And at the end of the day, it’s all about (and so it should be all about) somebody elses vision. Doing it for a day job is fantastic, but beyond the 9-5 – shutters are down.

Me: So, you want to be a proper ‘artist’?

Me: Closer. This is feeling more me. The word artist though has so many connotations, it’s a world I’m not part of and a bit too cliquey. But like I say, it’s closer to what I’m after.

Me: OK, so what sort of non-artist would you be?

Me: A photographer. Sounds grand, sounds proper. Sounds like if I call myself that I ought to really know what I’m talking about. This is feeling good though! I love the thought of learning about new photographic techniques; discovering old cameras and bringing them to life – seeing what they can produce. Imagery is important, it’s my passion. That’s it, that’s what I want to do.

Me: That’s great. Is that all there is to it?

Me: Not quite – there’s another dimension to it. I want to share. To show you guys what I’ve been doing and hear what you think. When I discover a new camera and get amazing photos from it I want to grab a cup of coffee with you and go through them, show you what I did and try and persuade you to give it a go too.

When I get a roll of film back from the developers and they’re all blank I want to know I have an outlet¬† to let the world know what went wrong and help others avoid the same mistake. If I create a funky new action in Photoshop I want to give it away and see what amazing stuff other people do with it.

All these things are what I want, what I really, really want and now I’ve sorted this out in my head everything suddenly seems easier. I think I’m going to find things a lot more manageable and enjoyable. Focused.

Me: Have you quite finished?

Me: Yessss! For now, anyway.

Right then, shall we grab that coffee and look at some photos?

Pentax K1000 + Kodak Ektar 100 film

Polaroid SX-70 + 600 film + ND filter on film pack

Diana-F + FujiFilm Superia 100 film

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Kate
    28 July 2010 at 22:42

    Coffee and photos. Sounds like a plan. But I don’t drink coffee so I’ll have orange juice. That okay with you?
    Glad you got some stuff figured out there! :)
    Kate x

  • Reply
    Tor
    28 July 2010 at 23:06

    Genius post. Pure genius.
    I’ve never told you this before (I’ve meant to before now), but your blog was the first one I ever got stuck into and felt a connection with. It was stumbling upon your Etsy shop one afternoon at work that led me to your blog, which encouraged me to start my own blog, which consequently has led me to other wonderful and inspiring people. So thank you massively. Xx

  • Reply
    Caitlin
    29 July 2010 at 00:32

    Great thoughts. I have been doing a lot of this type of thinking as well, and we don’t always have one clear answer, or know how to put it into words. At the end of the day, you have to do it for yourself, because YOU love it.

  • Reply
    Girl with a Camera
    29 July 2010 at 01:47

    I’m glad you let us hear the conversation in your head. It sounds somewhat similar to mine – except mine sounds decidedly American. I will drink Diet Dr. Pepper while I view your photos and thank you for sharing! I had to think about my own blog this way recently. School begins soon and I’m a teacher – my poor blog will feel neglected. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who enjoys flipping through everyone’s photos, successful or otherwise!
    Can’t wait to view all you shoot. Thank you again for sharing them with us!

  • Reply
    Tara
    29 July 2010 at 13:03

    I love your photographs! Your Flickr is especially amazing. I have a Nikon camera but I wish I could take effects like your toy cams.
    I hope you keep this blog going :)

  • Reply
    jeanine
    29 July 2010 at 14:53

    your words and photos + a strong cup of espresso = bliss. thank you for this.

  • Reply
    jane
    29 July 2010 at 20:49

    <3 bon voyage!

  • Reply
    Victoria Bennett Beyer
    29 July 2010 at 20:52

    I’m so glad you have ‘figured it out.’ The simplest conclusions sometimes take so long to get to. But there is value in the journey to get to those conclusions. Anywho, I’m glad your conclusions involve sharing your wonderful photos with us! You are so talented and it is always fun to see what you are up to.

  • Reply
    Leonie
    30 July 2010 at 07:14

    Nice!
    Love this conversation. And love your style

  • Reply
    Krista
    31 July 2010 at 12:06

    Brilliant post. Your photos are beautiful!

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