Mucus gracias

Good things about having a stinking cold…

1. Bunking off work for the day, snuggling under the duvet and sleeping in until your brain just forces you to wake up and watch daytime TV.
2. Sounding REALLY ill when you talk and have everyone feel sorry for you.
3. Doing crossword puzzles and not feeling a geek.
4. Loss of appetite and hence, loss of weight (although a lot of that could be due to point 1 below, and very surprising due to the next point…)
5. Eating nothing but Green & Black’s Organic Chocolate ice-cream all day!
6. People moving out of your way when you start hacking up your lungs in public. (I have to say though, I’m normally the first to complain about this in others, and don’t in any way codnone it, but it IS a very useful way of getting a seat to yourself on public transport).

Bad things about having a stinking cold…

1. The mucus. I’ve got through two boxes of tissues so far – each of which contains 90 tissues. Now, on average I reckon each sneeze/blow-of-nose contains about 1 teaspoon full of snot, that’s about 5ml. Multiply that by 180… that’s nearly 1 litre of mucus so far. (Yes, I do disgust myself sometimes).
2. The sore throat that starts things off – not being able to talk is a complete bastard, and people take advantage and think you wont remember the teasing when you’re in talk-mode again. BUT I WILL!
3. Having to spend a fortune on tissues, pain killers, cough medicine, more tissues, sore throat spray, even more tissues, and various magazines full of much too healthy, too skinny, too pretty looking people.
4. Daytime TV. I’m quite pleased to be in full-time employment now I’ve discovered what the alternative is… ‘Murder She Wrote’… I’ll say no more.
5. Staggering around drunk-like and dizzy as head is filled with at least a LITRE of mucus.