Hello, my name is Speedy González (the fastest mouse in the whole west country)

OK, confession time. When I was in Cornwall in March I returned home to find I had a freakin’ speeding ticket! I never speed! Except obviously I do (doing nearly 60 in a 50 which is normally a 70 when there’s not roadworks). Nearly 20 years of perfect (ahem!) driving and now I was saddled with the threat of 3 points on my license and a £60 fine. So, I filled out all the paperwork admitted my guilt and pleaded for mercy. I spent the next week wandering the streets, feeling the shame and shaking my fist at anyone doing more than 20mph. However, my unblemished record and the smiley-faces I had added to all my letter  O’s obviously paid-off as I was offered an alternative to the points on my licence – a chance to do a speed awareness course instead.

If anyone’s ever watched the TV series Phoenix Nights and seen the character Keith Lard (the fire prvention officer), then you’ll have a good idea of how I spent three hours yesterday afternoon. The location for this event was a wildlife reserve in deepest darkest Wiltshire, a beautiful spot, aimed I guess at calming the spirits of us speedy (but not terribly speedy or we’d have just got the three points) motorists.

Will I slow down? If it means not having to sit for three hours on the hardest chairs in the world to be power-pointed into submission, then probably yes! Seriously though, I don’t want to be killed by a speeding motorist, and I’m pretty sure most other people don’t either. I have statistics if you need them, but in short – 30 really does mean 30.

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