Going to a friends for dinner is great and I love it. However, having to attend a proper dinner party is something else altogether
Ah you’ve brought some wine, thank you so much! Hmmm interesting choice.
I’ve seen this for sale in Spar for £3.99 so it can’t possibly be nice. Obviously you couldn’t find any Blue Nun or Lamrini and thought the french label would make it seem more expensive.
This? Oh its just an Italian peasant dish – I threw it together in less than an hour!
I’ve been planning and preparing this since last month. I travelled all the way to a proper Italian deli in Winchester to get the pancetta and I made every strand of pasta by hand. If you don’t eat it all up and moan in exctasy with every mouthful I will contrive a slow and painful death for you during the next full moon.
I love your outfit, I don’t recognise the designer though, where did you get it?
a) I am SO in touch with fashion I would recognise every designers piece of work blindfolded
b) Your dress looks handmade
c) I am wearing my only designer outfit, but obviously you will think my wardrobe if full of them.
d) Seriously, did you make that yourself? It’s rubbish.
No, no, no, leave it all, I’ll get Juanita to clear it all in the morning
I don’t have a cleaner, but you don’t need to know that. If you would all just bugger off I could get on and load up the dishwasher before 2am.