Which is worse, do you think, smelling like Britney Spears, or smelling like somebody who wishes she smelt like Britney Spears? Only I was doing a bit of santa-list research in the perfume department of John Lewis last night, and the one that really smelt mmmm without being too bleauhh or too yeesh was Fantasy by the Spearster. I think it has to go on the list, for sure. She’s going to need every last penny to stave of the ex-husbands potential blackmail attempts, “Your dirty knickers from the laundry bin go on ebay at midnight unless I get custody of the sandwich grill”. Yes, I can count it as a donation to charity, it’s on the list!
I’m not even going to go NEAR the Jade Goody perfume, because I might like that too, and that’s a step too far. I could end up going all the way and getting hair-extensions, pink velour sweat-pants with writing on the arse and a teeny-weeny dressed-up dog might appear in my Burberry handbag. Can’t happen. Not going to happen.