Nothing changes

How’s your Christmas shopping going? Mine is going how it always goes…

January: I am going to hand craft ALL my Christmas presents this year, this will include learning to crochet a beautiful granny-square afghan. I have a whole yera, how hard can it be?

February: Crochet is impossible, it defies all logic – anyone who can do this obviously practices some sort of witchcraft or magic. I get knitting, knitting makes sense (although I still can’t do it) crochet though… I still want to make all my presents so I will stick to what I know.

March: Have paid a small fortune for new watercolour paints and paper. Everybody is going to LOVE the paintings I’m doing for them – can’t wait to see their faces on Christmas day!

April: The painting I’ve done of my Mum’s cat looks terrible, it looks like a horse. Ironically the painting of my friends horse looks like a pile of crap! Think again Angie, think again.

May: I have more than half a year before the big day. Plenty of time.

June: It’s summer, I have no concept of this thing you call “Christmas”.

July: See June.

August: See July.

September: Why are the supermarkets full of giant tins of Quality Street ALREADY. Madness. They are pretty cheap though, must remember to buy some.

October: I know, I may not be able to hand-craft all my Christmas presents myself, but I can purchase hand-made items from Etsy. Super plan, Why didn’t I think of this earlier? Thank goodness I have plenty of time, no need to rush.

November: REALLY must start ordering those gifts I want from Etsy – actually if I buy from UK sellers I still have plenty of time. Phew.

December: Amazon, you are a lifesaver! I may actually pull off this Christmas malarky after all… OK so the gifts aren’t hand-crafted per se but I can wrap them beautifully with hand-stamped kraft paper and vintage ribbons and raffia. Great.

December 24th: What time do the shops shut? I need wrapping paper, like, NOW! You’ll have to drive me too because I had Disaronno with my Coco Pops this morning.

Christmas Day: Not for the first year I am making my way to family get-togethers via the Motorway Service Station to buy a hugely over-priced tin of Quality Street because once more I completely forgot.

Boxing Day: Of course what I should do is go to all the sales today and buy next years presents. Yeah, right.

And then it’s back to January to repeat it all again. I know I still have time, that it’s still only November, but really – why fight it?