Watching paint dry. Literally.

Chaos is not a nice place to live, and I am finding this out the hard way, by residing in an explosion of personal possessions and utter rubbish! It’s only temporary (yeah, right), whilst we go through a splurge of decorating, but the novelty is definitely wearing off.

It all looks so easy when you’re in the clean and ordered aisles of the DIY store, flicking through the paint catalogues at the impossibly sparse interiors in shades of pumpkin paradise or smurf blue. If they showed you the reality they wouldn’t be able to give the stuff away, and we’d all make do and be happy with our peeling wallpaper and scary 90’s yellow walls. But no, you load up the shopping trolley with (in our case) lots of Dulux Willow Tree and white emulsion – add an array of brushes and rollers for every conceivable nook and cranny (didn’t we buy a load of brushes the last time we decorated?), pretend that the price really doesn’t bother you when you get to the checkout, then get home, unload it and then it dawns on you. Oh, crap. Have actually got to do some work now.

Not long to go now. On the up side, I am becoming less and less attached to my belongings (I know now why the word mental is in the word sentimental).Things are going to have to be pretty damn useful or attractive to not find themselves in local charity shop or ebay (preferably ebay, decorating isn’t cheap). That means you, breadmaker!!

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